The End Is Only The Beginning
by Ilse'sPurpleSummer
Summary: I changed the name and characters! After Serena's tragic suicide, the UES gang picks up the pieces she left behind. Jenny/Nate, Eric/Jenny friendship, Dan/Blair friendship and maybe more. R/R NEW SURPRISE PAIRING!
1. Chapter 1

It kept happening over and over. First with Aaron. Then Gabriel. Carter, Trip, Nate... Over and over. But it never mattered. They were just distractions. Things to take up her time. Although she thought she actually loved Trip for a time... Until he nearly killed her. But it all came back to Dan. His slow smile, his open honesty. She'd turned down Brown because she couldn't leave him behind. She'd left home because she couldn't stand the everyday reminder of why they couldn't be together. She was relieved when Carter gave her a reason to break it off. She went through all the motions of a devoted lover, but inside she rejoiced. She nearly died inside when Lily and Rufus got married and Scott revealed his secret. Any hope she had to be with Dan was dashed at that admission. She could never be with him now. But there was no one else. Her love for Dan was consuming. She'd told her mother from the beginning- he was her one and only. The only one she could ever be happy with. Her poet. Her lover. Her Dan. Her one and only. She stared at the sidewalk, looming up at her on the balcony, "I love you Dan," she whispered. "Always and forever." She took a swig of whiskey. Then jumped.


	2. Chapter 2

He dreamed about her the night she died.

He dreamed they were making love, just like the first time they'd done. When it was all over, they'd just held each other. Talked about their future together, said "I love you". Everything had been perfect. No Rufus and Lily, no problems. Just Serena and Dan, together. Forever. Until Jenny had sat down on the bed next to him, tears streaking down her face.

"Serena's dead," she whispered. Dan sat bolt upright in bed. He stared at Jenny, his eyes wide.

"No," he said. "No, that's not possible." Jenny's lip trembled and more tears spilled down her cheeks. Dan stared at her face, at the truth that was written all over it. His whole body felt like it was floating away from everything.

"What happened?" he said numbly. Jenny shook her head slowly.

"She jumped off the balcony of her room at the Empire," she said quietly. Dan felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and thrown off the balcony with her.

"Suicide," he whispered. "But Serena loves living life."

"I know," Jenny whispered back. "She left a note... I copied it for you to read." She handed him a piece of paper. He felt his head swirl as he held Serena's last words in his hands.

"I think I need to be alone," he said quietly. Jenny nodded. As she started to get up, Dan grabbed her arm and pulled her in close. She buried her face in his shoulder for a few moments, then got up and quietly left the room. Dan stared at the wall for a few moments, his heart numb. He finally picked up the piece of paper from the bed and began to read:

_I know everyone thinks I'm so happy, but I'm not. I was at first, until I couldn't ignore it any longer. The truth is, I'm still in love with Dan. And I can never be with him. It's consuming my every thought, my every action is geared towards him. I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. I love you, Dan. Always and forever. You'll always be my one and only_

_ Serena_

Dan finished reading Serena's note and sat in stunned silence. He couldn't believe it. She'd loved him still. He could have prevented it, just by letting her know he still loved her too. He could have stopped it. Serena could still be alive if he'd only been brave enough. He slowly buried his face in his hands and his shoulders began to shake as his heart shattered into a thousand pieces.


	3. Chapter 3

Dan was startled out of his stupor by a knock on his door. He looked up. Blair Waldorf was standing in his doorway, her face ashen.

"Blair," he said blankly. She was the last person he'd expected to see. She sat down on the edge of the bed. "I didn't expect to see you," he said hoarsely. Blair nodded slowly.

"I came... because I knew you were the only one who would be as broken as I am," Blair whispered. "You might try to hide it, but I knew you were still in love with her." Blair's body shook as she broke into sobs. Without even thinking, Dan wrapped his arms around her and she leaned into him, her tears soaking his shirt. She cried for almost a half an hour. She finally sat up, her eyes swollen and red.

"I'm sorry... God, your shirt," Blair mumbled. Dan shook his head.

"No, its fine. You needed that," he said. Blair nodded.

"I swear, I had no idea," she said. "I wish I had... I could have helped her." Dan shook his head.

"No. No. _I_ should have known. I felt the same way. I could have recognized the symptoms." Blair sighed, her eyelids flickering slightly. Dan looked at her carefully.

"You're tired," he said. "You should get some sleep. You can crash here if you want" Blair sighed again and laid against Dan's pillows.

"Thanks, Dan," she murmured. "Can you wake me up in two hours?" Dan touched her slender shoulder gently.

"Sure thing. I'll even make you breakfast." Blair gave him a shaky smile, then closed her eyes. Dan watched for a moment as her face became still, then he left the room quietly and walked into the kitchen to make some coffee.

Exactly two hours later, Blair woke up to the smell of waffles and coffee. She sat up in Dan's bed and sighed, feeling her face and its puffiness.

"Its Dan," she muttered. "He doesn't care." She slipped out of her heels and padded into the kitchen. Dan pointed to a steaming pile of waffles with his coffee cup.

"Thanks, I'm starving," Blair said softly. She began to eat, pausing from time to time to sip some coffee. Dan sat down across from her and stared down at the table.

"Dan," Blair said softly. He looked up at her. Her eyes were so sad. "Will you go to Serena's funeral with me?" He stared at her, a little shocked.

"What about Chuck?" he asked

"Chuck doesn't understand," Blair said. "Or he just doesn't feel as guilty as I do. And you know what they say. Misery loves company." Dan smiled a little.

"Okay, Blair. I'll go with you." Blair reached across the table and took his hand. They just held hands for a while, almost as if they could share the burden through the physical contact. After a while Blair broke the contact and stood up.

"I need to get home," she said. Dan nodded. "Pick me up tomorrow at 11?" she asked.

"I'll be there." She nodded and turned to leave.

"Blair?" She turned to see Dan's eyes staring into hers. "I'll be there as long as you need me." Blair smiled a little, then turned and left, closing the loft door behind her.


	4. Chapter 4

Blair stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her skin was pale and perfect. Her hair was curled and her makeup was flawless. And she would've gone around with blotchy skin and frizzy hair for the rest of her life if it meant she could have Serena back. Part of herself had died when Serena had jumped off the balcony. When she'd heard, she'd immediately run to Chuck. But he hadn't understood her guilt. So she'd gone to Dan. After she'd read Serena's note, she knew he would feel just as guilty, if not more guilty than her.

"Oh God," Blair moaned out loud. "Serena, why? Why did you do this?" She threw herself onto her bed, wishing more than anything that she could go back in time and change things. Maybe try to keep Serena and Dan together, or Rufus and Lily apart. She sat up again. Eric. Who was gonna take care of him? Jenny, probably. But Blair had to be sure that there would be someone there for him, to make sure that he was okay. She got up and went over to her desk, flipping through her phone until she found Jenny's number. She pressed talk.

"Hello?" Jenny's voice sounded through the phone.

"Jenny, it's Blair. Can you come over at all today? We need to talk."

"Be there as soon as I can." Blair hung up. She looked in the mirror again. Her face looked more composed now.

"I'm Blair Waldorf," she whispered. "I don't know why you did this S, but I'll clean up your mess. One last time." Her phone rang again. It was Chuck. She sighed slowly and hit IGNORE. She had business to attend to first.

"Miss Blair!" Dorota called. "Miss Jenny here to see you!" A few seconds later, Jenny walked into Blair's room.

"Jenny. How are you doing?" Blair said softly. Jenny's eyes looked a little bloodshot.

"I'm... okay, Jenny said. "Is there a reason you asked me here? I wanna get back to Eric."

"Well that's why I called you. I wanna make sure that you're there for him. Put Queen on hold. Be there for your family." Jenny stared at her.

"Who are you and where's Blair Waldorf?" Blair grinned a little and hugged her. Jenny left the room looking a little bemused. Blair sighed.

"One down, two to go."


	5. Chapter 5

_Hey guys! So sorry it took me FOREVER to update. I wasn't sure where to take the story next, and I was busy as stage manager for a play. I don't think this is my finest work, so let me know what you think._

Eric woke up slowly that morning. He stared at his ceiling, trying not to let the misery overtake him. It had been a week since Serena died. He had been using all his willpower to keep from following her. But he was trying to be strong for his mom. Serena had left a real mess behind her. He'd moved on from being sad. Now he was angry. Serena had been so selfish to do this. He couldn't believe she would just leave behind all the people who depended on her. Even in his darkest hour, when he'd slashed himself on the wrist, he had never really wanted to die.

His mother had been deposed with grief ever since it had happened. Rufus had been so busy trying to make sure that Lily was ok that he hadn't checked on Eric. The only one who had been there for him was Jenny. She had suprisingly been unselfish. She'd dropped Queen and spent all her time making sure Eric was okay.

The door opened and Jenny poked her head inside.

"Oh, you're up," she said. "I had to run to Dan's to make sure he had a suit." She sat down on his bed, putting her arm around his shoulders.

"Jenny," he began. "You've been here for me when no one else was. I'm sorry about everything I did." Jenny shook her blond head vehemently.

"That's behind us, E," she said. "We need to be there for each other now." Eric leaned into her shoulder for a moment, then sat up.

"So, is Dan coming with us to the funeral?" he asked. Jenny shook her head, looking a little bemused.

"He's going with Blair," she said. Eric looked at her, then laughed for the first time in a week.

"Wow," he said. "Who would've thought?" Jenny shook her head and shrugged.

"Tragedies have a way of bringing certain people closer together," she said.

Dan answered the door at the loft and saw Blair standing there in a black dress, tights, shoes, and no headband. She looked like a mourning princess.

"You look good," she said softly. He smiled as she came in.

"Is Chuck going to the funeral?" he asked. Blair shook her head.

"He's pulling away from me, just like when his dad died," she said softly. "I feel so lost." Dan reached out and took her hand, like he had the other day.

"I meant what I said, Blair," he whispered. "I'll be there as long as you need me." Blair wiped a tear from her eye.

"You know, Serena was always the carefree, beautiful one," she said softly. "I had to work so hard to keep up with her. But I would give anything to have her back now." Dan slipped an arm around her waist.

"Come on, we're gonna be late," he said softly. They started towards the door.

"Dan," Blair said suddenly.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Do you think I could crash with you for a while?" she asked. "I don't want to stay with Chuck, and I dont't want to stay at my mother's place alone."

"Blair Waldorf in Brooklyn?" Dan said teasingly. Blair smiled.

"It's better than the alternative," she mumbled. Dan smiled back.

"Stay as long as you need to," he said. Blair leaned against him and they walked out the door to the car waiting below.

_Ok. I haven't decided yet whether this is going to turn into Dair. While I lovee Dair with all my heart, I also like the idea of Blair and Dan just being best friends and depending on each other. Let me know what you think should happen! Next up: the funeral, and a new relationship begins to bud. _


	6. Chapter 6

_Again, I apologize for my lack of update. It's getting to be crunch time at my college, and I have four 4-page papers due and a ten page. And thats only one class! Ok. I realize that this is a little typical, but I'm going to make this Jenny/Nate, because I lurve them together. Also, I need someone to pull Chuck out of his hole of depression who is not Blair. And not Vanessa either, I hate her lol. In my story, she moved back to Vermont of whatever whole she crawled out of. _

Nate stared at the ground. He'd been doing that a lot lately, since Serena died. It didn't feel right, seeing the sky and the birds and all the happy things without her. He still couldn't believe that she'd been in love with Dan the whole time. Part of him wanted to be angry with Dan, but it wasn't really his fault. He looked up at the sound of footsteps approaching, and saw Dan walking his way with his arm around Blair. Dan hesitated for a moment, but Nate stepped towards him and Dan hugged him roughly. They didn't say anything. They didn't have to. Nate turned to Blair next, wrapping her in his arms and holding his old girlfriend tightly. She leaned against him for a long moment. Nate held in his tears again, then let her go. She took Dan's hand and they walked ocer to stand with Jenny and Eric. Nate noticed that Jenny had her arm wrapped tightly around Eric. He almost smiled. Jenny could be devious and conniving, but she had a heart of gold when it came down to it.

After the funeral, Nate stayed behind at Serena's grave for a little while. He felt so alone and numb- it was like his love for Serena had evaporated when she'd died. He hadn't felt much aside from lonliness. Eric had his family, it seemed Blair and Dan had each other now, Chuck had the hookers he hired- but Nate had no one.

"Nate?" He turned to find Jenny standing behind him. It was the first time they'd spoken since Serena's death. Serena and Jenny looked so alike, with their blond hair and blue eyes, but Serena had been darker and more vibrant. Jenny's pale blond hair and porcelain skin made her look like an angel.

"She was my girlfriend, Jenny," he murmered. "Why can't I feel anything about her death? Did I not care after all?" Jenny moved so that she stood next to him.

"People have their own ways of dealing with death, Nate," she said softly. "Maybe numbing yourself is your way of putting the pain away until you're ready to face it." Nate looked at her, contemplating how to ask his question.

"How is it..." he began, "that you've been such a rock? I'm not trying to be a jerk, but from what I've heard you've been this incredible support for your brothers and you've barely taken time for yourself." Jenny was silent for a few minutes. When she spoke, her voice was low and rough.

"Serena believed in me... she believed that underneath the "Queen" I was still Jenny from Brooklyn who loved to sew and cared about her family more than anything. I don't want her to have died wrong. I still am that person. I've just been ignoring her." They stood silently for a little while longer, then Jenny took Nate's hand and tugged it gently. He followed, unresisting, feeling like maybe thigs were just a little better with Jenny at his side.

_Kind of short and cheesy, I know, but I needed a transition for JeNate. I'm still looking for opinions on who should be Chuck's savior. I can't really write the next chapter until I figure out who that'll be. So suggestions are more than welcome!!!_


	7. Chapter 7

_I know this story is labled Dan & Serena, but it was intended as a one-shot. If I would've known it would be multi-chapter, I probably would've labled it Dan/Blair. The Jenny/Nate thing is kind of a side-story. I was gonna do Chuck in this next chapter, but I still can't figure out who the hell I want to talk sense into him. So I'm gonna do some more Dair development. _

Blair had been to the Humphrey loft a lot over the past week, but now she had some luggage with her and the intention of staying a while. Dan had put her in Jenny's old room. By Blair's old standards, it was pretty awful. But these things didn't really matter anymore. Since Serena had killed herself, Blair's only concerns had been taking care of those affected. Now it was time to take care of herself a little, by getting away from Chuck. She couldn't be around him when he insisted on being angsty. She looked around her new room and smiled a little. It was actually pretty homey. And better yet, Dan was just on the other side of the garage door in the middle of the room.

A little less than an hour later, Dan slid up the garage door to find Blair laying on the bed, reading a book.

"All unpacked?" he asked. She glanced up at him.

"Yeah, I didn't bring much," she responded. Dan grinned a little. She rolled her eyes. "Why don't you save whatever sarcasric comment you were about to say and make me some dinner?" she said knowingly.

"Fine," he responded. "But you have to help." She shut her book and rolled off the bed. As they left, he caught sight of the book she'd been reading- _Pride and Prejudice. _

"So you're an Austen fan?" he asked as they began cooking.

"Yeah," she said. "Pride and Prejudice especially. I love Elizabeth Bennet's character."

"You're a lot like her," Dan said thoughtfully.

"You think?" she said with a grin.

"Sure," Dan said. "You're both strong, independant women who know they can make their own fate. They don't let anything stand in their way." Blair grinned.

"You know Dan, that may be the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

Eric knocked lightly at Jenny's door, then opened it. She was spread out on her bed reading a fashion magazine.

"Hey, what's up?" she asked. He shrugged.

"Nothing, really. Just didn't wanna be alone. Jenny scooted over and patted the bed. He crossed the room and sank down next to her, pulling his knees up to his chest and resting his chin on them.

"So..." he began, "I saw you with Nate at Serena's grave." Jenny sat up and looked him in the eye.

"Eric, I swear nothing is going on. Nate just needed someone. You know how everyone was letting you fall through the cracks? Well it happened to him too. No one was there for him. Blair and Dan are busy with each other, Chuck is doing God knows what, and you know his mother is no help. Serena just DIED. I would never..." she trailed off. Then sighed. "I just care about him, that's all." Eric scooted closer to her and laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Jen, I wasn't saying you were trying to get with him. I was just wondering is all," he said softly. Jenny leaned against him and sighed. She couldn't help it- no matter what she said, she was still hoping for Nate to love her back.

Chuck stared at the wall, not really seeing anything. Just staring. As he had been doing since Serena died. Serena. Despite his attitude and his relationship with Blair, he'd cared for her so much. He'd really come to think of her as a sister, someone to love and protect and help. Over and over he'd seen her rally and fight back. But he'd known she hadn't fully recovered from losing Dan so many times. He'd known, but he'd never said anything. That was why he hadn't been able to face Blair, or Lily, or anyone. Guilt. He knew Blair was leaning on Dan now, that she'd moved in with him. He was trying to work up the strength and courage to go and tell her that he loved her and beg her not to leave him but he thought it might already be too late.

_I know that was a pretty sucky way to end the chapter, but all in all I'm pretty satisfied with it. It took some unexpected turns, but I really wanted some more Jenny/Eric interaction and toe establish that Jenny still loves Nate. And then I ended up comng up with a little segue for Chuck. I still don't know who I want his catalyst to be, so ideas are welcome!_


	8. Chapter 8

_Ok. So I'm not really sure where I'm going with this chapter yet. I still don't know what to do with Chuck. So I'm gonna try and dive into Jenny's thoughts here. Sorry for the lack of update, I've been busy with finals. _

"Jenny?" Eric's voice broke through her fog. She shook herself mentally.

"Sorry, E. I was zoned out for a minute. What's up?"

"I'm worried about Chuck." Jenny sighed. Chuck had been nonexistent since Serena's death. Jenny had learned from Blair that he hadn't left his suite at the Empire since she'd jumped off of it. Jenny had been thinking about going to try and talk to him- the few times Jenny had ever tried to talk sense into him, he'd listened. She knew his absence was hurting everyone- Eric, who looked up to him so much, Blair, who though she tried to hide it, missed him terribly, and Lily, who thought of him as her own child. And especially Nate, who needed his best friend more than ever.

Jenny would do just about anything for Nate.

"I guess I could try and talk to him," she said slowly.

"Really, Jen?" Eric said, his eyes filled with hope. Jenny grinned at him.

"Sure," she said brazenly. "I'll go right now." She grabbed her coat and her bag, then ran downstairs and grabbed a cab. She sighed slowly as she closed the door. She thought about what she would say to him when she saw him. "Get up you selfish bastard" didn't seem like the best thing to say. Before she knew it, she was outside the Empire. She took the elevator up to the penthouse and entered. Chuck looked up at her, his eyes as dark and fathomless as a black hole. Slow, smooth music was playing on the stereo:

_You are my angel  
Come from way above  
To bring me love_

Her eyes  
She's on the dark side  
Neutralize  
Every man in sight

To love you, love you, love you ...

You are my angel  
Come from way above

To love you, love you, love you …

"What do you want, Jenny?" he said, his voice hoarse and quiet.

"You know what I want," Jenny replied. "Come back. Before you lose Blair, Lily, Nate, and everyone else who cares about you." He turned his gaze to the fire crackling in the hearth.

"What if I don't care anymore," he said. Jenny fixed him with her blue eyes.

"We both know that's a lie," she said evenly. "Please, Chuck... we need you. I'll do anything to make you see that." Chuck got up and walked over to her, stopping when he was just inches from her.

"Anything?" he breathed into her ear. Jenny shivered. Then she thought of Nate, and how desperately he needed Chuck.

"Anything," she whispered back. Then she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. He responded, wrapping his arms around her tightly, his lips rough and firm. She gasped when he sucked at her bottom lip and nipped it lightly. They stumbled back to the couch, never breaking contact.

Eric was reading when his phone rang. It was Dan.

"Hey, Eric, how ya holding up?" Dan asked him. Eric smiled into the phone a little.

"I'm fine," he said. "What's up?"

"I'm looking for Jenny," Dan responded. "She's not answering her phone."

"Oh, she went to Chuck's to try and talk to him." Dan snorted over the phone.

"Good luck with that."

Jenny reached for her underwear, then pulled her pants back on. Chuck was looking at her, his eyes as calculating as usual.

"Well, well, Little Queen," he drawled. "You must want me back pretty badly." Jenny rolled her eyes.

"Will you call Nate, please, and Eric too," she responded. Chuck nodded slightly. "And tell them nothing about this, or you will regret it," she added.

"Your dirty little secret is safe with me, angel," he said smoothly. Before she could turn to leave, he grabbed her and pulled her into his arms again, pressing his lips against hers insistently. To his surprise she responded equally, her passion matching his own. After a few moments, she broke the kiss, grabbed her coat, and left without so much as a word. Chuck stared after her, his head hurting worse than it had when she'd arrived.

Jenny let the elevator doors close before she collapsed in a heap of tears. She felt so discusted with herself, not because of what she'd done, but because of how much she'd liked it.

"Guess I really would do anything for Nate," she mumbled.

_BAM! Surprise! Bet you weren't expecting that, were ya! Well, neither was I. Jenny always has had a mind of her own! Let me know what you think of this game changer!_

_Song is "Angel", by Massive Attack, rated in the Top Ten best songs to have sex to._


	9. A Brief Note

BTW yes, I changed my name. Sorry if it caused confusion!


	10. Chapter 9

Hello all you wonderful readers! My sincerest apologies for the lack of update. I've been writing other stories, but I am coming back to this one for a while. I will endeavor to update at least every couple of days. Just a warning- this chapter might get a little dark. So without further ado...

Jenny walked out of the Empire, numb and freezing. She'd left without her jacket or her bra, and the weather outside was glacial. Her mind was whirling with the knowledge of what she'd just done. Losing her virginity to Chuck Bass had never been high up on her priority list. She kept walking, holding herself rigidly until she arrived in Central Park. Once there, she collapsed on a bench, her whole body sagging as she sat there for what felt like hours. Her mind looped over and over- Chuck's emotionless eyes, his lips on hers, the frantic struggle of unbuttoning and unzipping, the pain, the blood-

The ringing of her cell phone interrupted the torturous thoughts. She fumbled for it in her pocket. It was Dan. She cleared her throat.

"Hello?" she answered, trying to sound normal. If Dan found out what happened, he would label her as Chuck's whore, and he would be furious.

"Hey, Jen," he said cheerily. "I was wondering if you wanted to come over for a little while. Blair and I were gonna watch a movie or somthing." Jenny smiled a little despite herself. The friendship between Dan and Blair was interesting to her and everyone else.

"Sure," she said, trying to sound upbeat. "Be there in a few." She stood up stiffly, stretched her sore muscles, and walked out to the street to hail a cab. She got in, still lost in her thoughts. She jumped as her phone vibrated in her lap. It was a text from Nate. **Chuck called. Thnk you. xo Nate. **She breathed out, slow and even.

"I did this for Nate," she whispered to herself. She felt just a little better remembering that.

I know it was short, but I didn't wanna drag it out. Next up: Blair figures out what happened between Jenny and Chuck, but her reaction might surprise you.


End file.
